Second of all - I honestly have no hard feelings, what-so-ever (how ever you are supposed to spell that) towards "Anonymous"... I am actually so grateful that they made their comment, and I was able to freak out and spill my guts, which I've been trying not to do for the past couple months, and I feel so much better. I feel better about my life. I feel like thousands of miles away from where I was yesterday. I also do ache for "anonymous" - wish she could have what she wants so badly.
Third - I posted everyone's comments, but tried to hold back the ones that may have any more contention in them... like cuss words, etc... or my friend gave me her phone number - didn't think I should publish that right? I do appreciate the support, and the - grrrrrrr - on my behalf... or just in response... but someone else is struggling - and I really don't think they know me or know how I am or don't know my tone when they read the typed words... and just - lets just leave it be I guess...
in response to the comments though too....
I know there could still be another baby out there for our family... a boy... the one I've imagined... but holy crap - do you know me? Do you know that I cannot get my oldest to Kindergarten on time! FIVE CHILDREN??? A person like me - the-perpetual-mess-of-all-messes - should not go there!!! I can't imagine that I ever would... or ever should. This 4th one is still blowing my mind!! Ha ha ha!! just have to laugh at that! K - I know I'm a sucky sucky unorganized disaster of a mom and wife and house-wife... it honestly takes me like 4 hours to do the dishes... or any simple little task - and that is freaking with pharmaceuticals that are supposed to help you FOCUS!!! ha ha ha!!!!! but even though I'm a mess. Dude - I LOVE MY KIDS!!! they may not get their teeth brushed and hair combed all in the same day, but they are loved.
Anyway... I am ready to move on.
This has been a huge huge blessing.
I should, like, put on a picture of my stomach, which finally looks like it's a growing womb instead of a jiggly-jiggle, super pudgy tub.
I should put on the latest ultrasound picture.
Today I folded a far-to-expensive pile of new and adorable baby clothes - baby girl clothes actually... and I was more excited than before.
We played with my girlfriends 3 month-old baby girl today and the girls were just absolutely ecstatic about holding her, and being big helpers... and I looked at Jayden and just thought "wow! she is going to be such a big helper with the baby!" Keira too! they are so so excited... and I haven't indulged their excitement until now. Their anticipation and happiness is sparking mine :)
It's so good. So, soooo, good.
It was just a good day.
I took an exam first thing in the morning... I took the kids to the beach and our awesome friend Sarah met us there... Kai and Keira swam together and giggled and squealed. We went to lunch. Came home and the kids from our building were out playing together and it was so great!!! ( i love it when people are out and it feels nice and easy...) and Baby Brooke was out being adorable and the kids love to love her and swarm around her. Chris had a side-job today, but he was also kinda close to home so it was just perfect! Then we hung out at home, watched a movie with popcorn, had dinner (yes in that backwards order) and went to bed... oh ya, got to watch Grey's Anatomy with Kai - ha ha! love that kid. And then he went and crawled in bed with Chris and fell asleep all on his own... on the pile of clean laundry that is covering our bed - of course that laundry has been clean since Saturday ;) it took me like an hour to organize the miniature kitchen to do the dishes... then didn't actually do them, and now I spend the last hour writing this.
And now I think I'm ready for bed.
I feel better. I hope "anonymous" feels better too.
Oh and to leave on a great note -
This is Jayden at tball on wednesday :) She is so darn cute and so funny! and she sticks her tongue out just like her dad! I have watched it a million times and just laugh and laugh and laugh. Hope you enjoy the 9 seconds of Jayden :)
2 comments:
Such a cute video of Jayden! I'm glad you had such an awesome day. But yes, you need to post belly & ultrasound pics.
That is super cute! Ella does the same thing with her tongue while she is writing or coloring.
I came across this today while preparing a talk for sunday in our new ward. (I know you already know this and that you're feeling much better, but it was a good reminder to myself and I thought I'd share)
"There is nothing that we are enduring that Jesus does not understand, and He waits for us to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer. I testify that if we will be obedient and if we are diligent, our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost. It is my prayer that we can find the faith, courage, and strength to endure to the end so that we may feel the joy of faithfully returning to the arms of our Heavenly Father." -Elder Robert D. Hales
I'm glad you are feeling better. I have been thinking about you a bit lately. Call if you ever want to talk!
P.S. Your kids are adorable!
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