Finally found a blog ticker.... ------------------------------------------------------->

Yes I am that fat.

I am really trying and it doesn't seem to matter what I do... I loose a few lbs... then I gain a few more back than what I started at.

The sad thing is... that the week before I had the baby I weighed 178.

POOP!!!

I felt really really good right after having the baby since I didn't gain as much weight during this pregnancy as I did my others.... but man... the C-section, and the month after, sitting around all day in this horrid apartment...  THAT's when I truely packed some lbs on.

And then again in AZ...  gained quite a bit of weight again.

So I'm doing some Jillian videos, running and trying out the induction phase of Atkins to see if anything will get me past 169... which is as low as I've been able to get since pregnancy 4.

I do feel stronger now... even though I don't get to exercise everyday.  I still get tired.  We have kids up all night around here...  mostly Kai and Jayden - isn't that wacky?  oh well, for whatever reason those two are up a lot, and the baby wakes up once to eat... and I stay up too late, try to get up early and am pretty tired all day.  I got me some melatonin to try and help fix my bad sleep habits.  Could be the lack of sleep and affects of that are contributing to some weight-retention (which I believe is scientifically accurate since my long 1 1/2 year research on cortisol had to do a little with it)... I'm trying to fix a lot of things lately.  And it feels good :)

Anyway...   that's my fat ticker... and that's my story... and wish me luck getting some weight off cause I really need to do it soon!!!  I've got some bad genetics in my family - specifically joints, and joint pain, and joints that need to be replaced... and I'm not even 30 and everything hurts... so I need to get better fast...  PLUS! my BMI is officially overweight... so it's not just me saying whoa is me... I do need to do it to be healthier!  and if I'm a little healthier... maybe I can keep up with these energetic kids of mine!  And that is really a better goal for me :)

anyway...   g'night!