Thank you for the rain!!
I have felt so stressed and emotional and crazy lately... I don't know why, but this rain is just relaxing me and its totally making me feel at home. One of my favorite smells is rain on cement... It doesn't rain a ton at home, but often enough... and when I was craving the smell, I'd go squirt the sidewalk just to smell it. Chris always says I come from cement city... I'm from Brea, CA, a beautiful little town in north Orange County California. I think it was only about 4 miles wide and about 5 miles from top to bottom. Its not made of cement, but its definitely different than where Chris grew up in Flag with the mountains and trees. I really miss home. I miss it a lot lately. But awe... I'm just loving the weather today. The girls and I went for a walk around the block to go giving and returning stuff... and we made it home before the rain... now they are asleep and all the windows and doors are open and the breeze is flowing through my little home... and the sound and smell of rain... ahhhh!! What a joy.

I think about Garrett Russell everyday now, and I think about my kids and if I ever lost them if I would remember them... I just have a horrible memory. It runs in my family. My mom can't remember my childhood very well... I have to go to our neighbor and best family friends growing up to get filled in on some Shaver memories. So... I think about Garrett and I watch his amazing mom write her memories and stories.. and I just want to do that now so that I never forget how sweet my kids are.

Yesterday the girls were playing outside and Chris was cleaning up construction and I was cleaning up the living room. Chris runs in yelling my name carrying Keira in his arms. "She hit her head! Bad" ... man... it stinks when your kids get hurt... you feel a little panic inside, but you stay calm to know how to handle the situation and calm everyone else down. She had a really huge knot on the back of her head and I held her for an hour and she cried and cuddled. Poor thing. She loves her books. The second she wakes up she has to have them... and last night, her books where the only thing I could get her to respond to. Thank goodness... Just a bump on the head, nothing too serious... but man... she's got to stop getting hurt!

Today I was just about to loose my mind. I cleaned for a couple hours last night and was exhausted when I woke up. The kids were into every worse thing they could get into. Mortor mix for our tile stuff... a mucky water bucket... yuck.... mascara... everything was all over them and everywhere... I yelled several times with a really monsterous voice that I was hoping would show them I'm gonna loose it, you better go hide or be good.... or something! but i tried to calm down and Jayden came and hugged me and grabbed my face and loved me.... and I cried on her and it made me feel a lot better. I'm so glad I have sweet little girls!
You know... I knew that I wanted boys. Always, if I ever had kids, I was going to have boys. I am the only girl and grew up with five brothers, competing for attention. It was so much fun. And then I'm given these two girls... my family is just like, "Good luck!" I think they kinda favor boys too... anyway, my point is... you think you know what you want and then God has another plan for you. I never in a million years would have thought I would have two girls so close together and that they would start to be like my buddies. We were at the pool the other day and I layed down on a towel so they layed down on towels with me... it was so fun to have someone to lay out with! They sing and dance with me... and not too many other girly things, but for never having sisters, I think i'm finally having that experience as a mother. I get to be around girls. yeah! :)